• Dad: Clean up your clothes
• Me: CLEAN UP YOUR LIFE

• Me: Merry Christmas Mommy~!
• Mom: I heard you got bad grades.

So, these are the people I play with.

(Source: tamasawr)

• Friend: Don't think about boobies
• Me: Thanks for reminding me
• Friend: I mean, don't you get reminded everytime you look down anyway?
• Me:
• Me:
• Me: :c

• Professor: An animal gave it's life for this!
• Student: An animal didn't GIVE it's life...
• Professor:
• Professor: An animal was brutally murdered for this bag!

• Me: my dad is dieting not really so we all eat healthy
• Dumbass: youre dads trying to go on a diet?

• Person A: Do you like God?
• Person B: OMG I LOVE GOD.
• -
• Person A: Did you read that one book? Hm, what was it called...
• Person B: The Bible?
• Person A: OMG YEAH!
• -
• Person A: When can we meet up?
• Person B: mmm, I can't do Sundays.
• Person A: OMG ME NEITHER!

• Dude: Aye what time do you finish class
• Me: uh 10:15 wai
• Dude: Js asking what time do you start
• Me: 9? well i'm pretty sure i told you multiple times
• Dude: Only an 1hr class?
• Me: 9 to 10:15. yes, 1 hr. >.>
• Dude: Okie dokie

• Me: Is it one word?
• Friend: It's what you are.
• Me:
• Me: "gay"
• iTouch: Incorrect.
• Me: "bi"
• iTouch: Incorrect.
• Me: "awesome"
• iTouch: Incorrect.
• Me:
• Me: "lesbian"
• iTouch: *Unlocks*

• Me: *Strikes*
• Friend: SHE GOT THE PENTAKILL!